From My Heart

6th April 2008

Recently I have been through a somewhat tough time where I had a lot of issues going on mostly in my thoughts. These struggles really drained me and the people around me can testify that I was not the best person to be around. I reached such a level where I even had “issues” with God, and if ever I have had a case against Him this was one of the times. The funny thing is that, it is only today that I am remembering that whilst in high school, a friend had once told me that she had issues with God such that their relationship was almost broken. At the time I could not really understand her nor could I sympathize with her, but now I can sympathize.

Anyway, the reason why I am saying all this is that at times we do have issues with God, and it is good to be honest about them. Jesus says the worshippers of God must worship Him in truth and in spirit, in truth means also in all sincerity and honesty (see John 4:23), in other words, take even what you are thinking about to Him. We have numerous examples in the Bible where people would actually point out the issue they had with God, Jeremiah, Elijah, Moses, David in the Psalms are but some of the people who had issues which they presented before God. These people were not superhuman and so we should not consider ourselves as such.

During this time that I am talking about I tried praying about the issues and when I got no concrete answer (at least I thought so) I began blaming God and taking up a case against Him. Oh, God is so merciful! Some of the things I said I had to repent from afterwards, yet at the time He was so silent and did not say a thing. In fact He did not even rebuke me, it’s like He was just watching me and pitying me that I could not see clearly.

You know, a parent will sometimes just look at a child when that child is bringing up all sorts of things that can cause them to get angry. Parents will be able to relate with this as well as those who have passed through the teenage crisis. I think it was a similar scenario where God was just looking at me and in the background leading me in the way that I should go in order to get the issues sorted out. Now they have been sorted out and I have learnt a few things out of the whole experience.

Another reason why I am writing this is because we sometimes forget the extent of God’s love for us. We forget that He says He loved us before we loved Him and He chose us before we chose Him (1 John 4:10,19 and John 15:16). The reason He chose us was so that we would be with Him, i.e. have communion and fellowship with Him (Mark 3:14). The love of God is not conditional; you and I do not have to do a thing that will qualify us for that love it is there for us for free (consider Romans 8:38,39). God proclaimed that Jesus was His beloved Son twice, first before going into the wilderness where He would be tested and secondly on the Mount of transfiguration before His passion (Luke 3:22 and Mark 9:7). He was God’s beloved even before doing the major things that would perhaps qualify Him for that love, even before He tried to earn it.

The same is true for you and me. Even before our salvation God loved us; and this was at a time when we perhaps did not qualify for that love, when we were outside His family. God loved us so much that He sent His Son to die so that you could be brought into right relationship with Him (John 3:16 and 2 Corinthians 5:18). Even before you started going out ministering to others, God loved you, you did not have to do a thing before God loved you.

The analogy that comes to mind is one of a parent. A parent loves the child even before the child is born, and when he or she is born there is already that love that is made available. The child does not have to do anything in order to qualify for or earn that love, in fact when you truly consider it; it is the work of the parent all along. When the child is born, however, more often that not, the child tries to earn the parent’s love, yet the parent has already offered it. The best times for parents to show this love is when the child is doing all the wrong things, getting in trouble and causing trouble for the family. Many times the parents will still love the child even through such times (at least they are meant to).

Furthermore, I am not my mother’s child because of the errands that I run. It is a relationship that is there before and after the errands are run. The same is true of God. He is our Father Jesus exhorted us to call Him Father (John 20:17, Matthew 6:9). He is our Father and we are His children not because we are always out working for Him, rather it is a relationship. That is what God has called us to, relationship. Yes, He will give us tasks to do, but these are not the primary reason why we are called His children. We are only helping out with the work of the house or rather the kingdom.

Such and more is the love of God. Even when we do things that are contrary to Him, we will still be loved simply because His love is unconditional. Furthermore, Paul says nothing can ever separate us form such love. In Isaiah, God says even though a mother can forget the baby of her breast, God will never forget us for we are inscribed upon the palms of His hand and our walls are forever before Him. In John, Jesus says nothing can snatch His sheep from His hand (John 10:28). All this is the love that God has for us, a love that can always be trusted.

Now all this does not give us an excuse for sinning, because any child who knows that the parents love him or her will still try to please them. It is a way of perhaps showing our appreciation of that love and also to reciprocate that love. Jesus says the surest mark of our love for Him is if we obey His commands (John 14:15,23 and also 1 John 5:3). In Isaiah God says that although His love is unconditional we can further benefit from His love if we obey Him and do as He instructs us to do (Isaiah 1:19).

For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels or principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37,38 (Amplified)